This is 31 conversations from the front porch day 3… you can catch up here. This is Where do you Find your worth?
Day 3: Where Do You Find Your Worth?
I can remember the moment when the phone stopped ringing. I was no longer wanted. My voice didn’t matter anymore.
The checking in and checkups stopped. The silence settled in and I was all by myself.
I was no longer in demand.
With that realization I had to face how much I had enjoyed being called and wanted in that way. It was hard to face how much I was NOT needed.
It was hard to grasp how quickly others are willing to assume and believe the worst about me and to then let me go.
I am a fixer by nature… to be unable to fix the shifting opinions and ideas about me – that was excruciatingly painful.
There was nothing I could speak that would undo the twisting and swirling.
Now I look back on that situation and feel how ridiculous the whole experience was, but in the moment I had needed them to NEED me.
Their want of me gave me validation.
I desperately needed them to hear me and to understand.
I wanted to be wanted.
And when I fell out of their favor It was very easy to then slip into believing that if they did not want me then I had no worth.
You’ll never find your own worth looking for it in someone’s opinion, ideas, or estimations of you.
I had not come to know and experience my own value.
I had not realized yet that I was OK, good, whole without other people saying so.
I didn’t need to be in demand to be valid.Your value does not come from outside yourself – it comes from within.
From the Front Porch,
Exercises For Your Own Front Porch Conversations
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within us out into the world, miracles happen. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thoughts & Questions: It is one of those common themes I find among us – I am not good enough. Either because someone told us so or because a moment in our history showed us so, or because our life theme happens to be “you are not good enough.” It is important to understand where that is coming from in your life.
- Why do you feel as though you are not good enough?
- Who spoke those words?
- What event(s) confirmed it?
And once you figure out where that message of value and worth comes from it is super important to move forward – in truth.
Use these as a starting place in your praying and journal writing today…
- I have value.
- I am NOT …..
- I am good at….
- My heart leaps when I…
- These are the lies I have been believing…
- This is the truth about myself I need to pick up and live…
Then perhaps find a mirror and give yourself a pep talk about your worth like the little girl in this video.
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